Flat

Could it be that I've lost all of my direction?
Or could it be that I've just lost my connection, again?
I've taken all of my false ambition, and now I'm flat.
But I really don't expect you to understand any of that.
It's only when I'm there that I can bear,
all of the shit that you say.
And it's only when I'm numb I won't run,
Not today anyway.
Could it be that I've spent our last dollar?
Or could it be that it's feels too right for me to squander?
I've drained all of our connection now we're flat.
But I really don't expect you to understand any of that.
It's only when I'm there that I can bear,
all of the shit that you say.
And it's only when I'm numb I won't run,
Not today anyway.
Now you implore me to lift myself up beyond my means.
But you're whispering.
And then to push away from this mud that has a hold of me.
But you're still whispering.
It feels like I'm desperately dependant upon what I can't feel.
I can't remember how it feels not to pretend to be happy.